Monday, October 18, 2010

Stagnation

It is time to sit back and examine myself thoroughly. My intentions, my expectations from myself, my responsibilities, my (lacking) ambitions.Time to introspect, friends!

Ever since I lost my regular IT job, I am secretly wishing and hoping to get into teaching yoga full time. I also understand my financial responsibilities of raising 2 children and putting them through college. Being the typical Indian parent, I do feel like I have to sponsor their education without them having to worry about it and just focusing on studies.
Let's face it, there is no way I can do that being a full time yoga teacher(unless of course my fantasy from earlier post comes true ). I know that I wont get a part time job in my field and getting a full time job means that cutting the cord between me and yoga. I feel that constant internal struggle, a tug of war of sorts. I do not know which direction to steer myself in.

On the teaching front there are more issues. I feel like I am being stuck. Today was the 3rd class of "no shows" at the studio where I teach. It is hard to not take it personally. I feel like there must be something lacking. Some times when I teach a class, I know that these students must know my speech by heart! I have become so repetitive. I understand the importance of that while teaching beginners. But it gets so boring to listen to your own voice saying the same things over and over..
I am not a very experienced or senior teacher. There is a lot that still needs to be learnt, both as a yoga teacher and as a yoga student. I have to reinvent myself, focus on self study or "svadhyaya".

I think it is time to step into my student shoes again.
I am already talking like I have made my career choice. Wish it was that easy. Until I figure this out,I will continue to apply for IT positions as well as get my daily dose of yoga.

2 comments:

Kristina said...

If you have the time, try out different classes, they'll give you inspiration and a fresh look! I know Maggie's words always come out of my mouth when I was in teacher training. Maybe you don't have to go back into IT to get a part time job. Maybe you can find something else to supplement the bills. Maybe look online for some new poses that you'd like to teach. Have your students line up their mats in a different way. In a circle? Facing each other. Do a partner yoga class. You'll get there, just build your experience. You're a great teacher!

Is It Possible said...

Very good post and very true feelings....

few things you may want to consider:
1. keep your class interactive
2. if possible make it fast pace (I know its YOGA and fast!!!)
3. take inputs from people who attend your class, they the best critics for new improvements and feel
4. Always add something new, it can be a small thing like a good thought towards the end of the class or a simple yoga book you give out at the end of the entire 15 sessions...
5. Finally, never loose hope and never loose faith in yourself

Good Luck and keep up the good work.... best of luck!