It is time to sit back and examine myself thoroughly. My intentions, my expectations from myself, my responsibilities, my (lacking) ambitions.Time to introspect, friends!
Ever since I lost my regular IT job, I am secretly wishing and hoping to get into teaching yoga full time. I also understand my financial responsibilities of raising 2 children and putting them through college. Being the typical Indian parent, I do feel like I have to sponsor their education without them having to worry about it and just focusing on studies.
Let's face it, there is no way I can do that being a full time yoga teacher(unless of course my fantasy from earlier post comes true ). I know that I wont get a part time job in my field and getting a full time job means that cutting the cord between me and yoga. I feel that constant internal struggle, a tug of war of sorts. I do not know which direction to steer myself in.
On the teaching front there are more issues. I feel like I am being stuck. Today was the 3rd class of "no shows" at the studio where I teach. It is hard to not take it personally. I feel like there must be something lacking. Some times when I teach a class, I know that these students must know my speech by heart! I have become so repetitive. I understand the importance of that while teaching beginners. But it gets so boring to listen to your own voice saying the same things over and over..
I am not a very experienced or senior teacher. There is a lot that still needs to be learnt, both as a yoga teacher and as a yoga student. I have to reinvent myself, focus on self study or "svadhyaya".
I think it is time to step into my student shoes again.
I am already talking like I have made my career choice. Wish it was that easy. Until I figure this out,I will continue to apply for IT positions as well as get my daily dose of yoga.
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